UPDATED!
Hello dear readers!
I´m happily hosting a new giveaway!
The piece you can win is this pendant called "Spring Hearts". It is made with Swarovski crystal hearts in Light Topaz and Topaz color and sterling silver chain. It is 1.2 inches long (30 mm).
Who can enter the giveaway?
Everyone from everywhere! All of you are invited to participate and win this lovely pendant.
How can you enter the giveaway?
Just leave a comment on this post with a JOKE or any FUNNY STORY you want to share, and you will automatically enter the giveaway. It´s that simple!
Please, leave an e-mail address to contact the winner. Or if you have a shop at Etsy or Art Fire, just leave the link of your shop here.
Note: if for some reason you don´t feel comfortable leaving your e-mail in public, just send me an e-mail with the subject "giveaway" after commenting here. You will find an e-mail buttom at the right column of the blog.
When is the limit date?
Next Monday, 13rd April.
When will the winner be announced ?
Here´s a joke to start with :)
"There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry.""No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.""I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison." "
Thanks so much for participating and good luck! :)
Thanks so much for participating and good luck! :)
Posted in: 
25 comments:
Muhahahah that was a fun joke, pity I suck at jokes so I can't enter...
;-P
Travel Woes for those traveling men....
Ever notice how a 4 year olds voice is louder than 200 adult voices?
Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit,
with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom
about 2 AM, I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karen,
apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleeping in
the guest bedroom that night.
The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was OK to
sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home,
please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK.
After my next trip several weeks later, Karen and the children picked me
up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late,
everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival,
along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving
passengers.
As I entered the waiting area, my 4 year old son saw me, and came
running shouting
"Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!"
As I waved back, I said loudly, "What is the good news?"
"The good news is that nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this
time!" Alex shouted.
The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at
Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see
if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.
Swee lol!
inger, thanks for commenting! Don´t be afraid to leave a joke, any joke is always funny! :)
here's mine :0
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
eachother the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the
next day , he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote
on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he
knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to
discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was
about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper
by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
I am terrible at jokes but my daughter is always telling one which she apparently thinks is hilarious! It goes like this: "Katta med slips".(that is Norwegian). Trust me it is really funny! :D
What Women Want in a Man
What women want in a man at age 22:
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
What women want in a man at age 32:
1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
What women want in a man at age 42:
1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends
What women want in a man at age 52:
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends
What women want in a man at age 62:
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend
What women want in a man at age 72:
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet
My son's favourite joke from when he was about 6 (he's 27 now!)
It needs two people to tell it, and they BOTH have to know the joke - that was the problem, he was always trying to tell it to strangers.
"I say I say I say, my dog's got no nose!"
"How does he smell then?"
"Terrible!"
As we were heading home one night I told my young son to look up in the sky at the "Full Moon." My son looked at the moon then looked back at me and asked, "Mommy, what does the moon eat to get full?"
JD
visionquest2020@msn.com
Okay, I love cheesy jokes, and this one fits that description:
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato!
urchiken at gmail dot com
Saw this joke here
http://www.101funjokes.com/baby-jokes.htm
Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.
Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
---------------
Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
---------------
The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
---------------
Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
---------------
Pacifier
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
---------------
Diapering
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
---------------
Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, BabySwing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
---------------
Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
---------------
At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
---------------
Swallowing Coins
1st child: when first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: when 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin to pass.
3rd child: when 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
Thanks for the fun way to enter.
beatspammer at gmail dot com
cute contest! (and love the necklace!!)
ok i am bad at jokes, but this one always makes me giggle!
-------------------
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."
-------------
mel_sunrise@Yahoo.com
Here's a salad joke:
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because he saw the salad "dressing"!
green_gecko39(at)yahoo(dot)com
great giveaway!
Heres a corny joke- How do you make budwiser? answer- send him to school. ha ha
jacquecurl@gmail.com
A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said, " When we were first married, I would come home from the office and my wife would bring my slippers and out cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years, it's all different. When i come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
See how scary marriage is?
aikychien@yahoo.com
I thought this was so funny when I read it:
LEARN CHINESE IN 3 MINUTES
English: He's cleaning his automobile
Chinese: Wa Shing Ka
English: Small Horse
Chinese: Tai Ni Po Ni
English: Did you go to the beach?
Chinese: Wai Yu So Tan?
English: Your body odor is offensive
Chinese: Yu Stin Ki Pu
English: I got this for free
Chinese: Ai No Pei
Hahah xD
My e-mail is: fairy_lizz@hotmail.com
Thanks!
Cow: Knock knock.
chicken: Who's there?
Cow: Impatient Cow.
chicken: Impatient Cow
Cow: 'MOOOOOOO'
chicken Who?
rlgrady[at]yahoo[dot]com
My favorite blonde joke of all time (and I am a blonde):
A blonde was driving down the road. On both sides of the roads are corn fields. She sees something out of the corner of her eye and slams on her brakes.
Out in the middle of the field, there's a blonde sitting on the ground, rowing as hard as she can in the field. No boat or anything, just rowing in the middle of the field.
The driver gets out of her car and yells, "You know - it's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your a**!"
:o)
krtrumpet [at] aol [dot] com
here's one my dad always told us. i never really got it but...
what's the difference between a duck? one of it's legs are both the same.
right here's my contact info. if anyone gets my joke feel free to let me know! also for when i win the prize :)
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5754418&page=1§ion_id=&order=
Here's some jokes provided by my kids. They are a great resource.
Q. What washes up on very small beaches?
A. Microwaves!
Q. What gets bigger and bigger as you take more away from it?
A. A hole!
Q. What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move?
A. The road!
Q. How do you make a bandstand?
A. Take away their chairs!
espressogurl at hotmail dot com
I love your entry idea so much! Last night I forgot to enter I was too busy laughing :D
My favourite joke ever is a bit cheesy but I love it:
Q: What's a bee with it's legs crossed doing on the motorway?
A: Looking for a bee pee station!
Hahahahaha.. That always cracks me up :)
BP stations are petrol stations for anyone who doesn't have them. Maybe I should have mentioned that first.. Meh.
I'm pretty bad at jokes.
There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
The one on the range.
nic0ler917@aol.com
A default Sans Serif font walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your type here!"
Wah, wah, wah, waaaaaaaaaaah.
An old farmer wrote to his son in jail: "..but I won't be able to turn the potato field this year. I'm getting too old. Wish you were here to help."
The son writes back from jail: "Don't touch the potato field. That's were I
hid the bodies"
Next thing you know, the place is full of cops digging and searching all over. The farmer writes his son all about it.
The son writes back: "I'm glad,it was the best I could do from here"
Elisabet
liveleisurely@yahoo.com
An old farmer wrote to his son in jail: "..but I won't be able to turn the potato field this year. I'm getting too old. Wish you were her to help."
The son writes back from jail: "Don't touch the potato field. That's were I
hid the bodies"
Next thing you know, the place is full of cops digging and searching all over. The farmer writes his son all about it.
The son writes back: "I'm glad,it was the best I could do from here"
Elisabet
liveleisurely@yahoo.com
Great jokes. Gotta give you mine.
A man is driving down a country lane. A chicken is running alongside him.
He goes faster; the chicken goes faster
He puts his foot down and really zooms down the lane; the chicken keeps up.
The chicken makes a right turn into a farmyard and stops knowing it is safe.
The man notices the chicken has 3 legs and goes to the farmhouse to ask about it.
"oh yes" says the farmer, "I breed them with three legs because I like a leg, the wife likes a leg and the daughter likes a leg."
The man asks "How clever, How do they taste?"
The farmer says, "I don't know, I've never caught one!"
Boom Boom!
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